Happy Friday. Tamra Barney read that sorority email for you…
“Do you hear that Alexis? Do not go to tonight’s event.” This literally made my week.
Marlo Hampton is returning to our television screens, y’all.
hahahahhahaha tamra you are everything
Tamra for President 2016.
I don’t want to watch a show about spoiled rich white people who are my age and can’t get a job! I want to watch a show about a bunch of spoiled middle-aged bimbos with Botoxed foreheads and pulled back faces and weaves complaining about the good life and throwing wine in each other’s faces and pushing people into pools and taking lavish trips they can’t afford because their bankruptcy hearing is next week meanwhile their house is in foreclosure because they failed to pay their $11,000 mortgage payment on their $8 million palace that’s shitting black onyx and yet they somehow have money for a new Mercedes and Louboutin shoes and yet another extension of their weaves but because they’re on this show they have no time fore their marriage so they have to divorce their second husband because he is no longer filling her love tank so she has her third marriage televised so she doesn’t have to foot the $2 million bill because her wedding planner is giving bags of money for the party favors and they have to invite everyone because the enemy of her enemy is a friend of hers and you know eventually someone is going to yank out someone else’s weave at the dinner party where no one eats and everyone drinks $2,000 bottle of Angel Champagne that may or may not have edible gold floating it meanwhile the daughter wants a new car AND a nose job and the son has to go to rehab for drug addiction all the while she’s trying to release her next dance single and run her alcohol empire while her makeup and handbag line is so successful her deadbeat boyfriend has to be her assistant and while that’s going on she’s trying to one-up her castmate with her better title because she’s a princess and there’s a countess and I’m pretty sure there’s a duchess somewhere but the other one has to run to the office because she actually has a career selling insurance or as a dentist or whatever the fuck it is she “does” for the camera all the while the neighbor is having an affair with her husband and her tell-all memoir about her ex-husband and mistress is due out next week and she has to sue her ex-best friend for calling her some ridiculous name or spilling the tea about how she “gave birth” to her children while the other one has to go crash the White House and dump her husband for a “famous” rock star while the other one is attempting to integrate the white and black hair salons but yet the other one is trying to hock her jewelry line on the yacht she couldn’t live without because her husband is going to jail next week meanwhile another one is filming for an “actual” television show and is too busy kicking people out of her house because she needs sleep meanwhile you’ve got the one married to the gay guy and they’re now getting a divorce so she has to go and film like five other reality shows AND a scripted show all the same time.