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Househusband In-Training

ABOUT
My name is Ryne. Welcome to my world. Huge Real Housewives fanatic. Secretly married to Zayn Malik, Adam Lambert, and Michael Buble--all at the same time. Recently rekindled a childhood love for Mickey Mouse. Single. 21. Cancer. Gay. Wine snob. Kath-eter. Directioner. College graduate: English major, creative writing emphasis. The Golden Girls. Will & Grace. Macy's. Disney. Reality star in-training. If I were a Real Housewife, my opening tag line would be "Whoever said 'Money doesn't buy happiness' simply didn't try hard enough."

LINKS

Really, Teresa? At least Jacqueline’s ass is real unlike your titties. And your titties are just as fake as you.

Really, Teresa? At least Jacqueline’s ass is real unlike your titties. And your titties are just as fake as you.

“You and your fucking Christmas pageant dress sit back and shut up.”

“You and your fucking Christmas pageant dress sit back and shut up.”

Never forget.

(Source: fivegum)

Me every time Teresa tells a bold-faced lie. Or speaks for that matter.

Me every time Teresa tells a bold-faced lie. Or speaks for that matter.

(Source: realitytvgifs)

Happy birthday, Jacqueline and Mario!

JACQUELINE LAURITA

Jacqueline Laurita is a former cosmetologist from Las Vegas and now a New Jersey housewife. She has been married for more than 10 years to her husband Chris, who happens to be the brother of Caroline Manzo. Chris is the owner of a wholesale apparel business and president and CEO of BLK Beverages. The couple has two sons, 9-year-old CJ and 2-year-old Nicholas, and Jacqueline has a 21- year-old daughter, Ashley, from a previous marriage. Aside from spending time with her family, Jacqueline continues her career in the beauty industry as a beauty curator for TheLookBag.com and creator of a celebrity boutique on TheLookStore.com. She always likes to see the good in people, but can hold her own when challenged. Jacqueline does not take anything for granted and believes that true wealth is about love, family, friends, personal growth, and helping others in need.

JACQUELINE LAURITA

Jacqueline Laurita is a former cosmetologist from Las Vegas and now a New Jersey housewife. She has been married for more than 10 years to her husband Chris, who happens to be the brother of Caroline Manzo. Chris is the owner of a wholesale apparel business and president and CEO of BLK Beverages. The couple has two sons, 9-year-old CJ and 2-year-old Nicholas, and Jacqueline has a 21- year-old daughter, Ashley, from a previous marriage. Aside from spending time with her family, Jacqueline continues her career in the beauty industry as a beauty curator for TheLookBag.com and creator of a celebrity boutique on TheLookStore.com. She always likes to see the good in people, but can hold her own when challenged. Jacqueline does not take anything for granted and believes that true wealth is about love, family, friends, personal growth, and helping others in need.

youresuchafuckingliarcamille:

fuckyeahtherealhousewives:

my bebez made it. :’)

omg

What is The Real Housewives of New Jersey? I must start watching Jeopardy! again. My uncle auditioned for it. He never would have gotten the question to this.

youresuchafuckingliarcamille:

fuckyeahtherealhousewives:

my bebez made it. :’)

omg

What is The Real Housewives of New Jersey? I must start watching Jeopardy! again. My uncle auditioned for it. He never would have gotten the question to this.


I don’t get how Jacqueline and Caroline are friends with Teresa for 16 years then are all of a sudden besties with Melissa and Kathy.

Well, considering Caroline and Jacqueline are no longer speaking to Teresa….

I don’t get how Jacqueline and Caroline are friends with Teresa for 16 years then are all of a sudden besties with Melissa and Kathy.

Well, considering Caroline and Jacqueline are no longer speaking to Teresa….

tvhousehusband:

Girls Gone Wild, Real Housewives Edition!

So apparently the season 3 reunion for Real Housewives of New Jersey filmed today and Jacqueline skipped and blamed it on being sick. Apparently, she is done with the show and ready to move on. Which makes me think she’ll be leaving mid-way through season 4 (which is filming) which might be why Bravo is casting. 

ooh-barracuda:

My gym has officially reached the stereotype.

I WANT THE ONE WITH MELISSA! I WANT THE ONE WITH MELISSA!!! And Caroline! And if there’s one with Kathy, that one, too! Oh! And Jacqueline!

ooh-barracuda:

My gym has officially reached the stereotype.

I WANT THE ONE WITH MELISSA! I WANT THE ONE WITH MELISSA!!! And Caroline! And if there’s one with Kathy, that one, too! Oh! And Jacqueline!

diabeticdoode:

mkaym510:

realitytvgifs:

This is how I work out.

^^^

Meanwhile Ms. Jacqueline over there has to show off at how flexible she is. Chris is one lucky man…

According to a new report, Jacqueline Laurita is filming her final season with theReal Housewives of New Jersey.

As we reported weeks ago, Bravo is currently filming season 4 of the RHONJ while the 3rd season is still on the air. A rarity for a Housewives series.

Well the Rumor Fix blog is now reporting that Jacqueline is filming her final scenes for Bravo.“It is confirmed that Jacqueline Laurita is now filming her LAST season of theReal Housewives of New Jersey,” states the blog.

“Jacqueline’s six-year contract is still in full force and effect and she is now filming limited scenes for Season Four but she does not want to return for Season Five. She just wants to have her normal life back and she’s hoping that Bravo will allow her to break her contract for the remaining two seasons,” adds the Rumor Fix.

Jacqueline, 41, didn’t help matters when she tweeted days ago, “I’m thinking I’d like 2 go back 2 being a normal family.I miss those days.I’d like us all to focus on positive things & positive people.”

Perhaps she’s over the drama with daughter Ashley Holmes and all the backlash. It has also been rumored that Ashley is barely filming for the new season as Jacqueline and hubby Chris Laurita kicked her out of their home. Ashley, who wants to move to California, is reportedly living in Texas at the moment. And let’s face it, while Jacqueline’s very likable, she’s mostly drama free on the show and doesn’t seem to have much of a storyline without Ashley.

Another factor could be wanting her privacy back. Just days after Ashley’s dad, Matt Holmes, appeared on the show, his arrest for arson, insurance fraud, and money laundering quickly made headlines. Only time will tell if Jacqueline is indeed leaving the show a la Dina Manzo. Jacqueline’s reported exit might also explain her recent blog in which she completely calls out her BFF Teresa Giudice.

UPDATE - According to Ashley’s twitter, she moved to LA yesterday. Ashley tweetedyesterday, “I’m moving to LA today!” later adding, “Been here for a total of 10minutes and i already LOVE my new home! #LA !!!!”

Ashley also wrote on her Celebuzz blog, “I have an internship waiting there for me with Buzznet & Celebuzz. I recently formed my own LLC. I’m currently working on my own clothing line that I hope to launch by 2012. I am working on building my own website, that will also be up and running soon. I am also writing a book. I think the content of the book is going to surprise a lot of people, no one REALLY knows me the way they think they do.”

Here’s to hoping she has her finances in order because in the words of Caroline Manzo, “You don’t want to hit rock bottom in California.”